After producing the rough cut of my video I wanted to receive feedback from a select group. The video I showed only included two sections of New York footage. At the start there were a few seconds and at 1:30 there were two shots. The main critique I wanted was on the performance shots as they are the spine of the video. The reason I chose a select group was because I wanted them to represent my target audience. Also the people that I chose were people who's own work I admired and therefore hopefully by them giving me feedback my work might then be of a similar standard. Therefore I selected a classmate, whose work is of an incredibly high standard, my teacher, who has a wealth of knowledge of film, the media technician, who also has a vast range of cinematography, and my dad, who I knew would provide very objective feedback. The feedback was as follows:
- Include a instrumental lead section on the track to further develop it and to add another focal point
- Add more shots of the performers
- Include a variety of angles
- Add some wider shots
Below is a screenshot of the email from my teacher including the feedback he provided after viewing the video:
Obviously there were some improvements suggested but for a first draft the video seems to be heading in the correct direction. I had also made some notes for improvement after producing the first draft and reviewing the performance footage. Below I have bullet pointed my initial ideas for improvement:
- Film over the shoulder shots between both guitarists - Looking over Shaun's shoulder at Youness and over Youness's shoulder looking at Shaun. For the shot over Shaun's shoulder I would have him fill the frame with his hair hanging down, then he would pull it back with his hand and turn his head to look at Youness. For the shot over Youness's shoulder he would be looking down at his guitar and then look up at Shaun, at that point Shaun would look across at him. These shots would show the interaction between the two guitarists. It would also show them as admiring each others playing thus elevating the track from an audience perspective as they would see the two players creating a sound that they appear to be pleased with. The shots of Shaun looking at Youness would be taken when Youness plays the lead part showing Shaun as being captivated by Youness's skill. The shots of Youness looking at Shaun would be when Shaun adds the accents to the track. This would show Youness, the main guitarist, admiring the finesse that Shaun was adding to the track.
- Film over the shoulder shots between the bass player and drummer - At a point where there will be a drum fill, yet to be added, I will film the bass player from a profile view and then looking over at the drummer. As he does there would be a focus pull to show the drummer playing the fill. This would add emphasis to the interaction but also it would showcase each musicians role.
- Film from the other side of the drummer - By filming from the hi-hat side of the drum kit I would be able to show more of the action, the snare drum, hi-hat and bass drum pedal moving. With the focus on the drummer it could also show the other musicians in the background out of focus. This shot would work as it would contextualist the whole scene as it would show another angle to the room allowing the viewers to piece together the scene.
- Film the shadows on the wall - Around the room there is very little plain wall, however to the side of the drum kit the wall is fairly plain. With the lights setup appropriately I would be able to film the drummers shadows as he plays. Obviously the drums is a fairly physical instrument so the shadows would reflect that and add to the energy. I would probably film him as he plays the sixteenth note section towards the end as that is one of the more engaging sections from an audience perspective.
- Film a shot of the drummer and guitarists back through the window - Film through the window to get a wider perspective of the performance which would otherwise be impossible to achieve due to the restrictions of the room.
- Film guitar lead part - Film some more stable shots of the guitar lead section with the guitarist doing more movement and the camera less. With the rest of the work it is the other way round and due to the energy and impact of a lead part it makes sense that the guitarist would have added energy and motion to his presence.
- Film Shaun lifting his hair back - Shaun has long hair which links with the conventions discussed in my star image post. Therefore by silhouetting him against a light and filming him lifting it back it adds the iconography that the piece needs to elevate the status of the performers.
- Film drums through the front - Film from in between the rack tom, snare and hi-hat with a low angle looking up and capturing the light on the tom.
- Film a tracking shot around the hi-hat at the end - When the sixteenth note section comes in film a tracking shot moving from left to right from the front of the hi hat to be cut in with the other two to make it a three shot section adding depth and a range of perspectives of the action.
- Film side shots of the guitarists performing - Similar to these shots: https://youtu.be/bqPXSqbKR1U?t=2m38s
- Film the guitarists near a window - I would film the two guitarists and the bass player and choose the most appropriate one later on. If I could get them performing near the window without eclipsing it I would potentially be able to mask the window and add in footage of New York at night.
The final shot that I would add would be a test to produce however it could show off artistic flare and also join the footage of New York with the footage of the performance. Although it may not make the final cut I thought it might just resolve the piece. There are several issues that I will have to solve and resolve if it is to work. For example I am not sure if I have perfectly steady footage of New York at night. Also any footage taken from the top of the Rockefeller Center might look a little unbelievable as obviously that is so high up and therefore may not look like the view from a rehearsal studio.
